it's a shock, shock to your soft side
by wannabewriter22
Summary: Rachel hasn't been Rachel in years. She is now Agent 72, will anyone be able to get her to remember who she really is? Maybe her high school boyfriend Finn Hudson? A/U fic
1. The Girl In Question

A/N: So I'm new to fanfiction as a writer and this idea popped into my head and I had to take a shot at writing it down :)

Disclaimer: I do not own _Glee_ or any of the characters from it, that honor belongs to Ryan Murphy. Title is from the song _Soft Shock _by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

* * *

All she remembered was it it was cold. The night she was taken was cold, snowy and haunting somehow. It's been seven years but she still remembers how she spent that winter day she was taken away from everything she loved and knew.

She was no longer Rachel Berry, aspiring broadway star, daughter to Leroy and Hiram Berry, or even Finn Hudson's girlfriend. No longer was she the overwhelmingly positive seventeen-year-old girl. She was now a twenty-four year old trained assassin. She honestly had no identity beyond her codename, Agent 72.

Most of her memories were blurs. The academy had taught her that memories were linked to emotions and to do what they were going to make her do, she was better of without them. She remembered fighting but not what for or why. All she really truly remembered was a song. The melody, the lyrics and could even hear it play on her head sometimes but that was it. Nothing else. Not who it was by or when she heard it.

* * *

She is then snapped out of her reverie when Agent 22 approaches. He walks to her with a blank, cold stare, similar to the one that she was sure was painted across her face.

"You got a job." he stated in his usual monotone voice.

"Who's the target?" she says looking at him to hand her the file.

"Burt Hummel, he's a senator based down in Lima. Apparently he's causing some issues with the budget that one of our client doesn't quite approve of so he called us in to… neutralize the issue."

Her mind clicks somehow. Like she's heard that name before, as if it should mean something to her. She shakes it off as nothing more that over thinking and stress. She stands up from her desk, smoothing her skirt and asks, "When do I leave?"

* * *

She is to touch down in Lima at 1300 hours. She expects to be gone by 1300 hours the following day. It was to be a simple get in, make it look like an accident, and get out. Nothing more. Nothing less. She lays out the intel in front of her. Burt Hummel is to be in his Lima home for lunch, his wife is to be at work and both children are out of state in college. It would probably be easiest to tamper with his meal and be done with it. She shuts the folders then satisfied with the plan and calls it into the HQ. She checks her disguise and prepares for landing.

* * *

Entering Burt Hummel's home was a joke. There was actually a window open ready for anyone to climb into. No alarm system of anything. Easy as pie.

"Must be a trusting bunch," she mutters to herself once she's in the house. She heads to the kitchen when she sees a tall, brown haired boy holding a bat up with terror in his eyes.

She composes her shocked expression. No one was supposed to be here. All of the intel said so and here it was an easy mission being blown to pieces. Just her fucking luck…

"I'm calling the cops! You shouldn't be here!" the boy yells.

She makes eye contact with him then, and begins to speak slowly, "If you know what's good for you, you will put that bat down and let me allow you to forget this ever happened."

He drops the bat suddenly then and does something that nearly bewilders her. He walks towards her cautiously.

"Rach?" he chokes out. He runs towards her then and embraces her. She allows him to, only to pull a syringe out of her back pocket and plunge it into his neck.

* * *

A/N: Please review! Let me know what you think? Should I continue?


	2. Your Words In My Memory

A/N: So here is the second chapter :)

Disclaimer: See chapter 1!

* * *

He shows the first signs of waking up about a day after she first injected him with the sedative. She honestly thinks it's a miracle that she was even able to drag his 6'3 frame out of the Hummel home undetected. Now here comes the hard part. Interrogating. She has to find out how and why he thinks he knows her, or if she's been compromised.

When he finally opens is eyes, he begins to struggle in his restraints, his whiskey colored eyes looking around in confusion.

"What the?" he begins to say as she approaches him.

"So, we're going to start off with relatively easy questions. How about… what is your name?" she inquires coldly, circling around his chair. As she got closer, she finally had time to notice something that she hadn't noticed before… his scent. It smelled familiar somehow. She quickly shook away the thought and composed herself when she got face to face with him, only inches apart.

"Rachel! What's going on? Are you okay? Everyone has been worried sick about you, I've been worried sick about you. Just-" she cuts him off when she places the cool blade of her knife against his throat. He looks at her with terror and something else… was it betrayal?

"I believe I asked you a question and instead of answering it, you are asking me questions. We'll get to all of that just tell me your name first," she pulls the blade away from his throat and steps back to allow him to answer.

"Finn. My name is Finn Hudson."

"Well Finn, you weren't suppose to be home yesterday. In fact, you were supposed to be in New York beginning your first year in college after serving military duty," she says watching his eyes widen at what she knew about him.

"Okay, I wanted to come back and help Burt with a few things. It was out of the blue. Rach please, you obviously know how my life has been, tell me what happened to you," he pleads with her but not just with his tone of voice, with his eyes too. It's almost heartbreaking… if she felt like she had one it would be anyways.

"Why don't you tell me what you think you know about me. It's pretty obvious since you've even decided to give a cute little nickname."

"Your name is Rachel Barbra Berry. Your birthday in December 18th. You have two dads that love you like crazy. You have a killer voice, I mean you were going to be the next Barbra Streisand. Your dream is to be on Broadway and to live in New York. You were a Glee club co-captain. I was your boyfriend and you loved me as much as I loved you. We were gonna get married and live in a shoebox apartment together… you said it would be romantic," he says in nearly only one breath. He looks at her his eyes locked on her's, gazing at her intensely.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she questions barely above a whisper, noticing his stare.

"You're you. How can I not?" he says with a small smile that makes her heart slightly race.

"Stop it! Stop acting like you know me! I am not that girl!" she exclaims. He flinches back but begins to speak once more.

"You still get really intense and passionate about things. I can see it. It was the same in high school. Look, I don't know what happened to you after you went missing but you are Rachel Berry, the girl I love and probably always will," he says earnestly.

She wants to believe him for some reason. She wants to be more than a number, to have some one love her even. It resonates in the small part of her that wants to matter for more than how many people she can take out efficiently.

"I have proof!" he yells. "It's in my back pocket, it's a picture of us."

She reaches in his pocket to pull out his wallet and sure enough in the lining is a picture of the two of them. He's smiling goofily at the camera and she's laughing at something he's said or done. It's wrinkled and worn, as if it's been pulled in out and folded countless time. She feels tears threaten to make her eyes water. What is happening? She hadn't felt an emotion this strongly in almost four years. This boy was unraveling everything that she had been put through.

"I kept it with me everyday when I was oversees. There were times when I thought I wouldn't make it, but I remembered you and how you were still out there waiting for me to come and find you," he confesses.

She averts her gaze from the photo back to Finn. He's looking at her with so much hope and awe. She couldn't even imagine what she could have possibly have done to make him look at her like that.

"I'm not going to stop telling you who you are. I will keep trying until until you shut me up permanently yourself. I don't give up that easily," he proclaims sincerely.

She lets out a shaky breath. Something about what he said struck a cord in her. She felt a tug in her heart and a buzzing in brain. Almost as if she was going to remember something. Something important. But what was it? What was happening to her?

* * *

A/N: What did you think? Any suggestions? Reviews are as good as Reese's Peanut Butter cups :)


	3. Find Me Never

A/N: Here is the third chapter! I hope my updates can be this frequent or nearly this frequent all the time but my life tends to get chaotic a lot so please be patient with me. Also, thank you for the reviews! It means a lot to me that you'd take your time to encourage me or show your love for the story :)

Disclaimer: See chapter 1! and the title of last chapter came from Snow Patrol's _Set Fire to the Third Bar_ and this chapter's title came from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs' _Zero_.

* * *

This was going to become an issue. He knew too much. At this point he knew more about her than she did about herself. If headquarters found out, it would most definitely be the end for Finn Hudson.

For some reason, this felt like a problem for her. She had this slight heaving in her chest at the thought of having him be "disposed of". It felt wrong, like something that she just couldn't let happen.

She walked into his holding room quietly as not to wake him. She watched him sleep, his light snoring as well as a small drop of drool beginning to fall front he side of his mouth. It was kind of endearing.

How could he possibly sleep so contently? He was being held captive by a trained assassin, and here he was in blessed out dreamland. Did he honestly feel that safe around her? Did he really believe that the girl in the photo was still her somehow? She is snapped out of the long string of questions in her head when her communicator vibrates from inside her pocket.

"Is it done?" the voice on the end of the line asks lowly.

"I ran into a slight complication on the way, but I'm taking care of it," she replies calmly.

"This needs to be done before the end of the month Agent 72, the senate goes back to vote on the budget by then and Hummel needs to be out of the way," the voice commands sternly.

"And it will be. I just have something to do first," Rachel continues with an edge to her tone.

" What exactly is holding you up 72? Do you need us to send in someone to take out an interference?"

She looks to Finn, who is still sleeping soundly in the chair across the room. She takes a deep breath and answers, "No, that isn't necessary. I'm just acquiring more intel on the target and his routines first, we wouldn't want there to be any surprises right?"

"Right. Finish the job, by any means necessary contact us when you need an extraction," the voice says.

"Agreed," she responds and hangs up.

* * *

She wakes him up a few hours later and hands him a grilled cheese and a glass of water.

"You'll need to eat something if I'm going to keep questioning you," she says not making eye contact with him.

"Okay, thanks, I guess. Aren't you going to eat something?" he asks as he takes a sip of water with his free hand.

"No, I don't eat cheese," she states matter-of-factly, as if it's the most natural thing in the world.

"Still a vegan huh? I guess some things don't change. Do you still cheat when it comes to pepperoni pizza?" he asks jokingly as if they are having a normal conversation and he isn't handcuffed to a chair bolted into the floor.

She cracks a barely noticeable smile, looks up at him and asks, "What do you mean cheat?"

He clenches and unclenches his jaw and replies, "On our first date, you cheated with the whole vegan thing. We ate pepperoni pizza together even though you told me you were a vegan."

He looks at her with that gaze again. It makes her want to remember who she was. Not just for her sake but his as well.

"You know, you can uncuff me. Believe me when I say I am not leaving your side. Whatever you've got yourself into, I'll stick by you Rach, or I'll help you fight your way out of it. I didn't move up the ranks in the military to Specialist for nothing, I've got moves," he tells her with a smirk.

"I can take care of myself fine thank you. And as for the handcuffs, I did release you from one of them didn't I?" she says, sitting down on the table across from him.

He rolls his eyes and replies, "Wait, are these in your plans for the evening?"

"I doubt I'd need to handcuff you to do what you're suggesting," she replies with a smile. They are actually verbally sparring in a flirtatious manner. She actually feels desired enough by him to engage. It feels… nice.

"Hmmm, there's that smile I've been waiting to see. Wonder how long it's been since you've cracked one of those,"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" she retorts icily, returning his gaze.

"I would. I mean, what happened? Where have you been these past seven years? What happened to you?" he questions.

She gets up from the table and moves towards him. In an uncharacteristic move, she places her hand on his lap, looks into his wondering eyes and answers, "Maybe I'll tell you someday."

A/N: Well let me know what you think! Reviews are delightful treats :)


	4. Until Then, I'll Be Dreaming Of You

A/N:Sorry it's been awhile but hopefully this chapter is sufficient enough to compensate for me being MIA. BTW the italicized is a flashback. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: See chapter one. The title of this chapter is from the song Dreaming of You by the Sleepy Rebels.

* * *

_-She's staring at the pins in total concentration. Before she knows it, it strikes the pins in one motion. She jumps up excitedly and turns to face him. His warms eyes. His adorable smile. Finn. Standing there and smiling just for her. She runs towards him and swings her arms around him and he quickly returns the gesture. She pulls away from the hug to kiss him full on the lips. She feels him hesitate but he soon returns the kiss gently. She looks up at him, her hands lightly pressed against his shoulders. He gazes down at her in what looks to be confusion.-_

She awakens then. She feels her heart race, like she can't breathe. The pain is immense, like nothing she has ever felt or remembers feeling anyway. She tries to hold onto the memory but the pain throughout her body is pushing her to let it go. Finally not being able to let it in any longer, she screams a loud blood-curdling scream.

* * *

Finn hears the scream from the other room. He abruptly tries to get up from his chair but is instantly pulled back by the handcuffs and shackles.

"Rachel! Are you okay?!" he yells as he tries to free himself. He hears her scream again and it almost gives him a heart attack. He fumbles around trying to find something within reach that could get him out.

He sees it. Not five feet away from him was a bobby pin that must have fallen out of Rachel's hair. He sinks down into the chair to extend his leg in the direction of the pin. He pulls it towards him with his foot and grasps it in his hand. Just as he is about to begin picking the lock on the handcuff, he sees Rachel, disheveled, in the doorway. He quickly shoves the bobby pin in his back pocket and begins to examine her.

She has tear streaks running down her face and her body seems limp somehow. As if it were completely exhausted and could no longer operate properly..

"Rachel. Babe, are you okay? Let me out of these, let me help you" he says frantically.

"I remembered something," she says looking at him blankly.

"You… what?" he questions.

"I remembered. We went bowling," she says evenly.

"It really is possible that the girl I love is still in there then," he says ardently while staring at her.

She stares back but takes a few steps back, not sure of what to feel. Sure, she remembered but at what cost? The pain she was designed to feel when getting in touch with her past and her emotions was very real and truly excruciating.

"I know that you don't all of sudden remember who you are completely and that you may not feel the way I feel but I do know that deep down, you are the girl that I'm going to end up with. I love you Rachel. I love you so much. And I know you won't say it back now but if you just let me in I can help you."

She walks up to him and sits down in front of him on the floor.

"You really mean it don't you?" she whispers.

"You haven't figured that out by now?" he replies with a small smile.

She felt her face soften and want to smile back. How was it that this person, this boy, somehow managed to undo almost all of her psychological training that took years in a matter of days? She reached into her pocket and pulled out a key and released Finn from the handcuffs and shackles. She didn't feel hesitant. Somehow she knew he wasn't going to hurt her or even leave her side.

"Thanks."

She nods in response. He gets up from the chair and sits next to her on the floor. Maybe it was feeling him so close that made her feel safe but she ended up leaning against his large frame and slipping back into the sleep that led her to that very present moment.

A/N: Hope you liked it. Maybe you did? Maybe not? Well reviews are always welcome :)


	5. Open Up My Eager Eyes

A/N: Thanks for the reviews! They really mean a lot to me and they keep my ideas flowing so just THANK YOU! Once again the italics are a flashback. Hope you enjoy :)

Disclaimer: See chapter one. The title of the chapter comes from the song Mr. Brightside by The Killers.

* * *

She's on her back on the floor. She feels warm arms envelop her tiny frame and looks up to see Finn sleeping. She carefully untangles herself from him and goes to the other room. She picks up the communicator and dials HQ.

"Please state your number and verify your mission parameters," the cold, nearly robotic voice commands on the other end.

"Agent 72, tasked to neutralize Senator Burt Hummel within the three week timeframe remaining," she replies icily back.

"Has the task been completed?" the voice questions. Her heart begins to race with the question.

"Negative."

"Do you have a problem carrying out orders Agent 72?" the voice asks.

"Negative. It will be done soon," she answers quickly sensing what would end up happening if she questioned her orders.

"We'll be waiting for your confirmation," with those last words the line goes dead.

"So… that was why you came back."

Rachel spins around to see Finn standing in the doorway, a pained look on his face.

"Finn… what are you doing up?" she asks hastily.

"You mean what am I doing up hearing you agree to murder my stepfather? I'm sorry, did you want me to give you your privacy for that?!" he yells while running his hands through his hair.

"You shouldn't have been eavesdropping," she says coldly, her eyes darkening.

He approaches her then and grabs her shoulders and lightly shakes her.

"This can't be what you are now. You can't be a killer. You just… can't."

"Some things are out of our control Finn," she replies lowly. She moves out of his grasp and turns to avoid eye contact.

"What things? Because you haven't told me anything! Nothing! Not a damn thing! I told you I'd always love you and be there for you but this is where I draw the line Rachel. Just tell me what's going on!" he shouts.

She realizes in the time she has been reacquainted with Finn Hudson, not once has he shown anger towards her… until now. It hurt to hurt him. She turns to face him again.

"You said that you'd always love me, that I was the girl you were going to end up with and now you're giving up?," she says in a small voice.

"I never thought you'd make me feel like this."

She feels a sharp pain in her head and she collapses to the ground. The last thing she hears is Finn calling her name.

* * *

She wakes up in bed with Finn staring at her from the other end of the room. She sits up but quickly feels dizzy and begins to fall back onto the bed. He quickly rushes over helping her back up only to back away from her as soon as she regains her equilibrium. He's looking a her blankly. She return his look with a sigh.

"So you're still here," she says in voice just above a whisper.

"Well you did like collapse in front of me so I couldn't just leave you there…" he trails off, avoiding looking into her eyes for too long. He turns to leave the room then.

"I don't have a choice you know, it's my job," she calls out to him.

"You didn't have a choice?! There is always a choice Rachel. And you obviously made yours taking on this job," he retorts angrily

"Finn… I just… I want you to know this isn't something I wanted."

"What do you mean?" he asks curiously, eyes narrowing.

"I was taken away from everything that I knew, everything that I loved," she began explaining in a shaky voice. She looks down to take a deep breath preparing to relive it all.

* * *

_-"Yes I will be back soon!" she giggles into the phone. _

_"Okay well just get here safe okay? The snow is really coming down," Finn says with a worrisome tone._

_"Yes, I know. But I have to admit I do like it like this it's very picturesque."_

_"Um… what's picturesque?" he asks confused._

_"It means it has a quality that makes it seems like a picture you'd have in your head of something magical," she say with a slight smile in her voice._

_"Oh right! Okay well get back soon! I love you."_

_"I love you too," she returns and hangs up the phone. _

_She feels her hairs prick up but before she can turn around, she sees absolute darkness._

* * *

_Soon she awakens in a concrete room. She feels cold metal secured tightly around her wrists and ankles. She takes in her surroundings when a stoic faced woman approaches her form the darkest corner of the room. _

_"Who are you?! Why are you doing this to me? I just want to go home! Please let me go!" Rachel cries as she tugs on her restraints._

_"We are here to help Rachel. We want to make you more than ordinary. By the time we're done you will have acquired skills unparalleled to anything you could ever imagine for yourself. All you need to do is cooperate," the woman says calm and evenly as she paces around Rachel, her heels clacking on the concrete floor._

_"You're crazy! I have family! Friends! You have the wrong girl!" Rachel screams, tears running down her face. The woman stops when she reaches Rachel and looks at her face to face._

_"When you're done with your training, you won't even remember who you are let alone who your family or friends are," she turns and begins for the door._

_"What are you going to do to me?" Rachel asks in a small, shaky voice, her tears beginning to sting her face as they continue to rush down._

_The woman stops at the doorway and turns to face her once again._

_"You'll see. You'll even thank us for it later."-_

* * *

She looks up as she finishes recalling the deep memory that had previously been unlocked. He's looking back at her with watering eyes. He rushes to her side then and take her into his arms and she lets him. She lets him embrace her and she returns the embrace. She lets him stroke her hair softly and breathe her in as she does the same. He releases her to look into her face.

"Rachel, I'm so sorry."

"What are you sorry for? I'm the one sent to kill your stepfather," she says exasperatedly.

"I'm sorry I couldn't… save you," he says and she can hear the pain and regret in his voice.

"No. You couldn't. No one could," she replies adamantly.

"But I can save you now. I can save you, if you let me."

She stares into his warm eyes. So honest. So loving. So much like… home. So she answers…

"Yes."

A/N: Hope all you out there liked it! Let me know! Reviews are like as hugs and skittles :)


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